Blue Friday

Blue Friday (PM IL)

The air has cooled down immensely

and I am awaiting the impending

storm.

It is Friday and office workers

I generally never see are sneaking out

to their cars and leaving way too

early.

Employees are dropping their

stuff off in a race to get their

weekends started early,

compromising their driving ability

as well as their work ethic

I'm certain.

The sun tries to poke its' head

through the clouds but I'm

sure its going to pour,

hopefully before I get the hell

out of here.

I have read the daily newspaper

three times

and absorbed nothing,

the free papers seem to carry

the most worthless news stories,

most of which are over three

days old.

The parking lot is nearing full

capacity meaning everyone is

back and free of another

work week. I see some still

struggling their way in but they

are also done for the day,

at least mentally.

As I while away the last few hours

on a Friday afternoon I

realize the futility of rage

and hatred, if only in my mind,

I should be able to transfer it to

my hourly dealings with

all time-consumers.

Yet I feel the pull of denial and

of boredom,

feeding on every last neuron that

I possess,

bringing forth from my soul such a

frothy lament that I can't quash it,

nor can I sum up the immense

strength it would take to

completely cover up.

The second hand is moving

slower but it is still moving,

time has that awful way of

always being in control,

manifesting itself especially

when we delude ourselves

to believe that we are in

the driver's seat.

I felt the tug of time lose its

grip on my soul one time

in my life and I thought I

was going to die.

I was scared but very

reasonable and accepting to the

inevitable,

berating myself easily for not

doing enough than for doing

too much.

The feeling passed while I was in

consciousness,

and I regretted the passing

as though I had made it that

far, how could I be fucked with

even worse and have it taken

away?

Of course the light remained

on for the rest of the night and

I was able to greet another

sunrise, although even in the

dead of winter, it did appear.

MCC