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Saturday, January 19, 2013

WANING INTEREST

Waning Interest
PM 1301192



Another day has dawned,
maybe not that bright,
but with a hint of glimmer on
the horizon,
I feel something inside me,
long dormant but not dead as I
had once thought.
I reached out to grab it but its still not
within my grasp,
I don't panic,
the fact that it still exists
is good enough for me
and I hold onto that feeling
for dear life.
A ship I once thought had
already sailed,
on a journey I was not chosen
for could very well be turning
around and coming back to port.
I wait on the dock,
without socks or shoes,
dangling my toes in the sea
and the water is getting warmer,
I can feel it and the excitement
stimulates my legs and body into
action and I feel as though I could
walk for miles and miles.
I can't see the ship on the horizon
but there is a wispy curl of smoke
curling through the blue in
the distance and I know
that must be my ship.
I don't dare turn away for
fear I miss the spot and I
can spend endless days scouring
the horizon for what I believe to
be my ultimate salvation.
The clock has been put forward
an hour, and I am no longer
needed, if I believe I ever was
and I make out the gulls, far
out to sea, diving in search of fish
and telling of their exploits with
loud screeches of expression that
make the sea what it is
for everyone.
I must see more but I go no further
than the small restaurant at the
end of the pier.
All you can eat shrimp
and scallops plus whatever they 
happened to bring in with the nets 
this morning.
I once spent hours looking for
the oysters' treasure in a bucket on
the pier.
I shucked and I shucked
but came up with nothing except
for a full stomach which should
have, in itself,
answered all the questions of life, but I was too
stupid to catch it.
I wait and I wait, and as the
sea breeze stars to get colder in the
fall I realize waiting too long
is also not the answer I am looking
for and soon I will be covered
in salt ice.
Retrieving my shoes from my bag
I decide to stumble off the dock
and move throughout the town,
destiny can wait as warmth and
food sustain life and that stupid
ship could be in Turkey by now.
Cross on the green lights and
look both ways,
feel the sea breeze and marvel
at the engines and that rank smell
of diesel fuel that provides disgust
and well-being at the same time but
not necessarily in that order.
I am walking inland now and the
mist which I thought was rain all this
time has stopped and as I begin to
dry off the long highway ahead of me that
once seemed to contain a dead-end is once
again beckoning me to come near.

MCC

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