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Saturday, December 13, 2014

Has My Brain Taken a Turn For The Worst?




   I don't know the true answer to that, I have my theories but since I don't have any sort of medical degree I can't really make any sort of legitimate diagnosis I take meds for my heart so I don't count these, they are maintenance drugs that I am told has been keeping me from dying from the result of heart disease. So I move on to the brain ones

   I take cipralex, an anti-depressant which could be working but I still feel depressed most of the time  but maybe it would be worse if I didn't take it! The side-effects are mild, loss of sex-drive, dry mouth and general anti-social behaviour, i.e I am very introverted. Don't know if they are working.

   I take valium, keeps me calm but also leaves me what I can only describe as zombie-ish. Do they work, maybe, what would I be like without them and would I be the same person. The only way I could find out is if I stopped taking them and  I have been warned many times not to do this.

   I take zopiclone, it puts me to sleep, zombie-sleep, but sleep nonetheless. I sleep-walk. I have awoken in the middle of the night setting the dining room table, I awake on a plane with a security guard pointing a gun at my head. I stay very sleepy for at least four hours after I wake up, it affects my job but I work for the post office so make your own condemnation here!

   The drugs have changed who I am and I don't even remember who I was and people tell me I ma not the same person they once knew. My family has ostracized me to the point where I want absolutely nothing to do with them anymore I have become a lost soul and I worry I might actually lose the people that really mater to me.

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