AMBROSIA SALAD

Ambrosia Salad

pm 1203193

No links to the past make it impossible

to imagine any kind of future, yet if your

past is so black some of the images are blurred

beyond recognition and you lose any ability

to make sense of your present situation.

I have landed on the moon and as I

stepped out onto the surface I suddenly

realize it is not made of cheese

as I had been told as a child.

In a way I had been lied to but I had also

been left by myself hoping I would figure

out the truth on my own. I waited too long

but at any age its hard to believe that you

had been lied to and had accepted it as fact.

Naturally I had discovered that fact by myself

I didn't need anyone to tell me,

avoiding a very embarrassing conversation,

but I did feel a good deal of disloyalty when

I discovered the truth. Peter Pan, the same

thing, I don't know what the time difference

was figuring the two situations out but I'm 

sure I came to both realizations more or less

simultaneously and I was just as

disillusioned with each epiphany.

I kept these visions to myself for the longest time.

Who wants to admit they are a complete 

idiot at any time and especially when you

are at such a young and impressionable age.

I didn't feel as though I had made the cut

and I still don't, believing I am somewhat

inferior to most people even tough I make it

a point to show bravado whenever possible.

Still, I can't go to the currency exchange

and trade in anything, they just won't take

it anymore and they laugh at me through the

bullet-proof glass as I slide the useless bills

back into my wallet and make a hasty retreat

out the back entrance.

I could also hear them laughing all the

way to the parking lot, and each time I

happen on a lonely brick, placed there by

God, perhaps, and I have to bury the need

to hurl it back at the glass door.

The laughter is always incessant and it

bothers me a lot more than I think it should.

It gets into my head, only removable by

an ice pick, the tag always says and I have

yet to test the observation.

I argue with myself that I can't be alone

and how can I be depressed with all that laughter

whirling about in my head.