PM 1307301
Too many are waiting outside for my
arrival and I can't understand why
there is no one else who can look after
them right away.
I curse all of them inside as I throw
out my cigarette and realize that my
soup is going to get a lot colder before
I get the chance to eat it.
People are stupid, and the less smart they
are, the quicker they become more impatient
and more demanding.
I feel like they think I am the devil,
or at least his servant,
thrown here to abuse them and treat
them like the dirt they wallow in
day and night.
I don't care anymore, I treat them as
they treat me, relying on the first impression
to make a template for my future dealings,
but they eye me with such distrust that I have
no discourse but to bristle at them and this
is evident in my eyes.
Once they feel that initial stab, there is
no winning them back,
the poison was released in the
quills and the only antidote is to treat
me poorly,
no greater revenge than to remind me of
who I am and where I have ended up.
Instead of smoothing things over, I stir up
the water into a torrid whirlpool of hate and
animosity,
I stir and I stir until I have made
myself seasick from the motion.
Mal de mer which translates into more
distaste on their part and I know they
hate me even more.
Even when I smile at them they feel
as though they are being spat upon,
my smile can only be fake now,
false as false can be,
yet I can now flash them at will
and at the very least, I'm not automatically
considered an outcast.
They still leave, seething just a little
as they have paid, and paid dearly
and though they think they are in control,
or at least that they deserve to be in control,
I am the one who has won,
at least for the time being, a shallow victory,
is still a victory.
MCC
